There has been no shortage of discussions, books, webinars, and seminars that cover ego and its role in our lives. For many, ego is the driving force behind the choices and decisions they make. And, when ego is in charge during crucial matters like divorce proceedings, not only does it add an additional layer of stress, but it can negatively impact your case.

In this episode of Divorce, Healthy! attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of ANR Law, speaks to international keynote speaker and business consultant Cy Wakeman. Cy dives deep into the concept of ego – what it is and how it works against us. The ego is the primitive part of our intelligence, which can create and fuel problems with low self-esteem. Ego is often responsible for s holding fictional beliefs about ourselves and the world. When you co-create and feed the narrative that the ego wants you to believe. These effects lead to conflict and stress not only in divorce, but in everyday life.

Cy offers valuable tips on how to stop letting ego take charge. She believes we should question our thinking, or as she says, “don’t believe everything you think.” Take a step back and consciously observe the thoughts your ego is driving you to believe and compare it to the reality of your situation. 

When you know how your mind works, it’s more difficult for ego to fool you. And when you see how the world works, you won’t waste time an in an alternate reality of your ego’s design. This allows you to make better, more informed choices that can be beneficial not only to you, but to your entire family.

Cy also discusses the importance of setting boundaries, especially in the face of divorce. Without boundaries, work, new childcare arrangements, and the myriad commitments of life can quickly overwhelm a divorcing parent. One practical piece of advice is to be direct and honest, but not overshare what’s going on in your personal life. 

One key takeaway that Cy stresses is that the ego narrative is not the reality, and believing and internalizing this is a choice you have to make every single day. You are not a victim of your divorce and you always have a choice in how when it comes to your own thoughts and behavior. 

You can connect with Cy Wakeman on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and her website

Links mentioned in the episode

No Ego Podcast

No Ego Book

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!”