Today is National Adoption Day and it’s a day to celebrate. Adoption should be celebrated because it’s a wonderful arrangement for a family. In fact, there are approximately 4.5 million American children who wouldn’t have a parent if it weren’t for adoption.

If you’re not in an adoptive family, you may wonder what’s to celebrate. It may seem like an adoptive parent/adopted child’s bond aren’t as strong as a family who share the same blood. As a father of a daughter who is not his biological child and two daughters who are, I can assure you the bond is truly strong and also a little different.

With your biological child, you can talk about how you share the same eyes or give guidance on taking care of your family’s particular health issues. It’s true you can’t do that with an adopted child. However, the conversation about how you chose to be in your adopted child’s life is a truly magical one. You can talk about the journey to one another and how special it was. If they’re old enough, they may remember the exact moment you met. What’s more special than remembering the moment that you fell in love? Many adoptive families call that amazing day “Gotcha Day”, an celebrate it annually.

If you’re a person of faith, the journey to your adopted child can also feel like a mission. You can notice all the funny “coincidences” that brought you to that one special child. The funny thing is that really does feel like my adopted daughter, Sophie, really is the “one”.  Our relationship has taken on an even more special but sad twist since her home country, the Ukraine, has been so horribly mired in war for years. Worse yet, Sophie is from Eastern Ukraine, the center of the war. If she hadn’t been adopted by us years ago her life might have ended up very differently or perhaps prematurely.

Her parents’ marriage, like so many others, ended. But, both of her parents love for her continued. She was raised in a shared parenting arrangement, where she got equal time with both parents. While every parenting arrangement has challenges, shared parenting often works with adopted children. They understand their parents chose to be in their lives at the start. After parents separate, the children have the comfort of knowing both parents still love them evidenced by both parents still choosing to be in their adopted kid’s life. Shared parenting for adopted children has another great option. Neither parent has to go a year without having a special day with his/her child. One parent can celebrate with the child on her birthday while the other celebrates with her on Gotcha Day.

If your life is ready for adoption, please do it. It’s a truly wonderful arrangement and there are many children needing a family. If your family is separating, please consider shared parenting. Children, biological or adopted, deserve the love of two parents.