Which Parenting Style Fits Your Family Most?

Whether your family has a minimal or high conflict separation, it is important to weigh the options between different parenting styles that could lead to a healthier resolution. All families have different dynamics and different rules set for their children. While separating from your family can be hard, choosing a parenting style could help create a stable and secure environment for the children involved. Some parenting styles that could be considered are Coparenting, Parallel, and Nesting Parenting.

While divorce is one of the most climatical issues in terms of conflict, spouses can sometimes forget to handle these situations without their children being involved. According to Attorney Ashley-Nicole Russell’s Book, The Cure for Divorce Culture, “They must be aware of the level of information children pick up and aware of the severe long-term effects on those children’s ability to form relationships.” (Russell, 101). When children are exposed to these sorts of situations, it can lead them to endure multiple mental health issues which can be decreased by implementing a formal co-parenting system.

Coparenting

Coparenting also can be referred to as shared parenting, the process of attempting to make the best schedule that accommodates the most amount of natural time with both parents. Schedules can be accommodated through this process by allowing parents to trade off as primary custody. For example, certain known schedules are one week on and one-week off, a ¾ or a 2/2/3 schedule. The ¾ schedule is where one parent has the child for 3 days and the other has them for 4 days each week while the 2/2/3 schedule details that the children spend 2 days with one parent, the next 2 days with the other, and the remaining 3 days alternate each week.

While coparenting may not fit every family perfectly, this style gives spouses an opportunity to be a part of every decision-making scenario that regards the children. According to Attorney Ashley-Nicole Russell’s Book, The Cure for Divorce Culture, “It’s never too late for healthy coparenting.” (Russell, 67). Not only does it take hard work and communication for parents to master this style, but it can also become one of the most rewarding parenting techniques since it primarily focuses on the children. Children can share an equal amount of time with each parent, have both parents show up to their events, and provide a stable environment all around.

One of the main goals of collaborative family law is coparenting. With the help of legal, financial, and child specialists, the collaborative approach encourages parents to collaborate to create a parenting plan that is not only equitable and well-rounded but also focused on the needs of the child. This guarantees that important decisions are made amicably and collaboratively, and frequently involves agreements on healthcare, education, extracurricular activities, and emotional well-being.

Parallel Parenting

Parallel parenting reduces direct interaction between couples, whereas shared parenting fosters a closer bond between them. This parenting style is best suited for high conflict divorces and circumstances in which couples frequently avoid each other but will agree on matters that are exclusively focused on the children. Families with active personal lives when it is agreed to be kept apart can also employ this technique, which is effective for very conflictual separations. According to the National Parenting Organization, parallel parenting “creates a structure that reduces the emotional burden of daily parenting tasks, allowing each parent to focus on their responsibilities without the stress of constant disagreements.” (Hubin, 2025). While communication is shortened tremendously, the only contact that each spouse should have while using parallel parenting is the essentials for the children such as schooling, medical, and other important scheduling matters for pick-up and/or drop off.

While parallel parenting can sound complicated, this allows each parent to make everyday decisions for the child based on their own discretion. Implementing a set schedule for special occasions, weekends, or weekdays should be calculated before starting a new form of parenting. Having this schedule can reduce any forms of mental health related issues that may have formed while being separated/divorced.

Nesting

Nesting, also commonly referred to as birdnesting, is a coparenting style in which the children reside in one primary home, and the parents take turns living there based on their agreed custody schedule. This style ensures that the children obtain stability without having to change much about their environment. Typically, and in some cases, parents will have apartments away from the primary home in which the parents will take turns living in that space as well. Sometimes in high conflict cases, this parenting style can be hard or challenging. This style requires constant communication and coordination while managing the one family house. It can be easy to do if both parents agree to use a shared calendar to ensure that they do not run into each other if the conflict is high. For lower conflict, sharing household bills, groceries, and maintenance costs can ease tension on both parents.

Does your family agree with any of these styles?

In conclusion, if your family is leaning towards a specific parenting style, the first initial step to make is to formally compile a list of pros and cons of each one and decide which one better fits your situation. No matter the conflict, each style offers a benefit that the other may not be able to give. Attorney Ashley-Nicole Russell also states that, “They must agree to use moral character within the divorce process and agree to amend past behavior and mistakes by taking

responsibility for their actions and accountability for their future involvement. (Russell, 101). As a result, before deciding on a co-parenting approach, spouses need to reach a consensus and carry it out for their children. It is preferable for couples to start a co-parenting process with the only goal of concentrating on the children and communicating openly and honestly about the requirements for your ideal lifestyle, boundaries, or ground rules that are distinct from those of your former spouse.

References:

“Having Trouble Co-Parenting? Try Parallel Parenting! — National Parents Organization.” National Parents Organization, 13 Jan. 2025, www.sharedparenting.org/sharedparentingnews/pfryxw62xsu4kdtpc9e3cv32czsiji.

Russell, Ashley-Nicole. Cure for Divorce Culture: Repairing the Damage Within a Lost Class of People. Abrams Press, 2018