Divorce is a common part of life and popular culture, whether you realize it or not. It can show up in film, television, books, and, very often in music.
Music is often an emotional study of oneself, reflecting the individual artist’s thoughts and experiences. Your favorite musical artist may be a product of a divorced family, and it can sometimes influence their work in songs. These artists express their experiences as members of broken families and the impact this has placed on their personal lives in their music.
With popular music, people can witness, learn, and understand the impact divorce can have on a child. People can see the first hand perspective of the artists that have experienced being a part of a broken home. There are many songs that you have probably already heard that are a byproduct of divorce, and you did not even know it.
“How could you hurt a little kid?
I can’t forget, I can’t forgive you
‘Cause now I’m scared that everyone I love will leave me”
As a child of divorce at three years old, Gray understands what it feels like to have the lingering effects of a divorce last for years. In his song he expresses the feelings he has of wondering why his parents did not get along, and how he has to undo what happened to his family, even though that is not his job.
“Can we try to work this out?
Can we try to be a family?”
Another child of divorced parents, who is stuck wondering what she needs to do to fix her family. Throughout the song it is seen how as a child she felt she was begging each parent to fix the family and the issues that her parents had. Even as an adult she remembers what it felt like to go through a separation between her parents at the age of 10, and she is still carrying some of the weight of the experience with her today.
“Just give it away
There ain’t nothing in this house worth fightin’ over
Oh, and we’re both tired of fightin’ anyway
So just give it away”
In these words written by George Strait, we can feel what it’s like to not want to fight anymore and to just leave the marriage. A divorce is stressful and troublesome and a life-changing event, and the last thing most people want to do is argue over who gets what. This is one of the biggest issues in divorce, the fighting that occurs after separated people become separate and have to rebuild their lives with things shared between them, and Strait shares how tiring it is.
Secondhand Smoke by Kelsea Ballerini
“Will I be better? Find forever?
Be the one to shake the habit?
Break away from broken things
And rise above the ashes?”
After witnessing the messy divorce of her own parents, Ballerini wonders if this will happen to her, if her relationships will end the same as theirs. This idea that children of divorced parents will have the same relationships as their parents is a common theme shared with these children. She explains in her song what it feels like to carry this burden as she goes into having relationships in her life, and how she feels she needs to rise above it and break the curse.
Stay Together for the Kids by Blink 182
They never solve them, it makes no sense at all
We get along, so why can’t they?”
Written and performed by children of divorce, the song shares how it is hard to be a child in a home that fell apart. It shares what these men felt as children, as their parents would fight and not get along, even after their separation. The song also explores how these children felt left and abandoned by their parents, for throwing away the family life that they had known for so long. Blink 182 is able to capture the sadness and confusion that children feel being from a home with two angry parents trying to escape each other.
“Ooh, I didn’t wanna leave you, baby
I didn’t wanna fight
Started to cry, but then remembered I
I can buy myself flowers”
An empowering song that comes after a divorce between Miley Cyrus and her ex-husband, shows what the outside of a divorce can look like. Cyrus is able to turn her pain into positive as she explains throughout the song her new-found independence and self-love. While divorce can leave someone feeling like their world has turned upside down, there is a brightside that can be found.
Every Other Weekend by Reba Mcentire
“Every other Friday
It’s toys and clothes in backpacks
Is everybody in okay?
Let’s go see dad”
Another example of the impact of a separation on the children of divorce, is Reba Mcentire’s song which describes what she went through as a child, traveling between each parents’ home. We can see how she felt having to pack up every other week to go to one parent’s house, and then the same thing again. It shares an insight into how children of divorce go through this process of shared custody to satisfy each parent, sometimes against the will of the child.
Songs like these are examples of divorce culture and the impacts it has on a wide variety of people. It shares insight into these artists, their own personal experiences of going through a divorce, or being a product of one. Many songs that play on the radio share these ideals, we just might not know it. As we listen to the radio we can hear stories and see how impactful a divorce can be, even years after.
At ANR Law, collaboration and mediation are the answer. It is how these life changes are handled, and it allows these families to reach a decision in which all agree and can benefit from. These methods of collaborative divorce are used to suit everyone, and to keep the children from being faced with this resentment, so they do not have to carry any extra burden. It is the most peaceful solution, allowing everyone to walk away with decisions made by each person, and for each person. If you are interested in learning more about your options when it comes to a healthy divorce, and how to proceed with out-of-court processes like Collaborative Law. AN|R Law is here, and we are proud to serve North Carolina. We have four locations in Raleigh, Greenville, Beaufort, and Wilmington. Our legal team is committed to helping North Carolina families in a healthy manner that protects their finances as well as the wellbeing of themselves and their children. If you would like to connect, you can follow the AN|R social media accounts on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. You can also check out my book, The Cure for Divorce Culture, and listen to my podcast, Divorce, Healthy! which is available on all major listening platforms.
You can learn more about working with AN|R Law: A Negotiated Resolution for collaborative
divorce and other family law matters in North Carolina by reaching out to our office. You can
call 252-702-4376 or fill out this online contact form.
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engagements for 2024 and 2025. Please reach out to my team by emailing media@anrlaw.com.