Divorce, Healthy!

Welcome to Divorce, Healthy!

Divorce in the United States is something that is often viewed as negative. While a large majority of people associate it with ill feelings, chaos, and never-ending conflict, that doesn’t have to be the reality of divorce across America. It doesn’t have to be your reality, especially if you’re about to dive into this process.


Your Host.

Ashley-Nicole is dedicated to understanding her client’s needs and protecting their interests. As a child of divorce, she knows first hand the hardship and long-term effects of the traditional litigation model. She is committed to the Collaborative Divorce process outlined in the North Carolina General Statutes as a healthier alternative to litigation. Ashley-Nicole used the Collaborative Process in her own divorce, and she knows the success of the process first hand to preserve relationships and set the tone for a life of peace after divorce. She opened The Law Offices of Ashley-Nicole Russell, P.A. to help families navigate the emotional and legal aspects of separation and divorce in the Triangle and Eastern North Carolina.

People are shocked when they find out Karen Millon still regularly spends time with her ex-husband — even with her new husband. It just doesn’t quite fit the usual expectations of divorce, as we so often imagine animosity between former partners.

Somehow, Karen managed to come out the other side with a healthy outlook on divorce and a good relationship with her ex. She even wrote a book about it, titled “My Amazing Divorce.”

On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, host Ashley-Nicole Russell talks to Karen about how she made it happen. According to Karen, she made sure to give not only herself but her partner and especially her kids time to process the change and reach a level of acceptance.

What largely made this possible was not putting her needs first. Instead, Karen sought out therapy and resources to emotionally handle everything, and ensured her kids got what they needed from both mom and dad.

Karen also adds, “What I think made it healthy was a focus on healing and honoring the grieving process.”

This concept of healing is extremely important to Karen. In fact, it’s the main focus of her podcast, Healin, which aims to help inspire others start their own healing journey.

“Being aware of your emotions and your triggers and having someone to cry with, you take a load off your kids because they’re not your therapists, they’re not your friends,” says Karen. “You have to build safety and security with them.”

💡 Featured Guest 💡

Name: Karen Millon 

What she does: Karen is a businesswoman, the author of “My Amazing Divorce” and host of the podcast, Healin, which provides resources for people seeking healing and wellness inspiration.

Words of wisdom: “When you understand that you are a soul living a human experience, whether you’re Christian or Buddhist or Hindu, and that you didn’t come to this world to fight and argue and be bitter but to deal with what life brings you with grace, I think that helped.”

Connect: Website | Instagram

 

🗝️ Key Points 🗝️

Top takeaways from this Divorce, Healthy! episode

★    Focus on healing. Honoring the grieving process was a big part of what made her divorce healthy, says Karen. This means giving yourself, your ex and your children the time necessary to be sad and work through negative emotions to reach acceptance.

★    You don’t have to rely on your divorce lawyer. Your divorce lawyer will have your best interests in mind and no one else’s, but that’s not necessarily good for processing the situation. It could even lead to animosity and difficult situations for your ex-partner and children.

★    Move away from anger. One turning point for Karen in processing her divorce, and something she advises, is to get out of the anger stage of grieving. She says that deciding not to fight anymore — adopting a mindset of “radical acceptance” — can help you reclaim your power.

 

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⚡ Episode Insights ⚡

[14:47] Make your divorce kid-friendly: As a child of divorce, Karen says she could empathize with her kids while getting divorced from their dad. As a result, she tried to make the process as much about them as possible and knew that despite the separation, they would still want to see their parents together and enjoying each other’s company.

[15:18] Have a clear vision: Because going through such a big change might make some people lose sight of what matters, Karen believes it’s important to maintain a vision throughout the process.

[15:33] Seek out spiritual resources: Throughout her divorce and its accompanying therapy, Karen found books, podcasts and various resources that spoke to her and helped her see the big picture while stuck in the immediate chaos. For her, one of these resources was the book “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” by Deepak Chopra.

[19:00] Write it down: Karen found that writing was key to her success. Whether it was journaling, making to-do lists or drafting a whole book, writing things down was essential to her healing journey and a way to manifest success and a positive outlook.

[21:17] Let go of the little things: What you haven’t been able to change in your partner in the years you’ve been together will probably not change because of you. Learn to accept this and find power in what you do have control over: yourself.

[25:56] Avoid guilt over the holidays: When the kids are spending Christmas with your ex-partner, Karen says it’s important to understand they already feel bad that they aren’t with you. There’s no need to emphasize how much you will miss them.

Connect with ANR Law

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com.

You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw.

Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy! Subscribe in your preferred podcast app.

The holidays are upon us accompanied by all the expectations of creating picture-perfect, festive memories for you and your family. For divorced parents, however, this can be a nightmare of navigating what your kids want, what relatives want and what you want.

Forget all of that, says Dr. Elizabeth Cohen, a clinical psychologist who specializes in helping parents discover a positive approach to divorce.

“Give yourself so much grace and opportunity to learn. If this holiday season, something doesn’t work, then you learn for next time what you want to do,” she says. “The holidays come every year.”

On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, Elizabeth discusses the upcoming holiday dread for divorcees with host Ashley-Nicole Russell.

The important thing, Dr. Cohen says, is that parents focus on creating safe and connected time with their kids, no matter what that might look like. There’s no need to live up to unrealistic expectations. If you feel better about your life after divorce, you will be happier and calmer around the holidays as well, and your kids will feel happier and calmer.

“There are invisible gifts that you are giving your child by ending a relationship that’s not working for you,” she says.

💡 Featured Guest 💡

Name: Dr. Elizabeth Cohen

What she does: Dr. Cohen is a clinical psychologist based in New York City with a background in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and a focus on helping parents navigate divorce positively.

Words of wisdom: “I was put here on this earth to help women and men move through divorce and break the stigma of divorce as being a failure and see it as an amazing golden opportunity.”

Connect: Website | Instagram

🗝️ Key Points 🗝️

Top takeaways from this Divorce, Healthy! episode

★    Think positive thoughts. You can shift your thinking on divorce — the way we have been trained to think about divorce doesn’t have to be the way you approach it going forward.

★    Ignore societal interpretations. The culture surrounding divorce has long portrayed it as something that inevitably makes your life worse. This is false! Divorce will likely lead to better things, including better relationships and friendships.

★    It’s about the kids. Remember it’s about your kids, not you. The number one thing you have to do is make them feel safe and connected and sometimes the way they feel safe and connected is not how you feel safe and connected.

★    The Hallmark holiday mirage. The pressure of the holidays can be particularly overwhelming for a divorced parent. It’s important to leave behind those picture-perfect expectations to relieve some pressure from you and your kids — especially this year.

⚡ Episode Insights ⚡

[5:51] Give unto yourself what you give unto your child: As a parent, you want to empower your kids to make decisions that feel true to them. You should be doing the same for yourself.

[7:00] Collaborative law is good for you: Your nervous system will benefit from collaborative law, Dr. Cohen explains. Keeping litigation out of your divorce is key. It can be triggering and thus a burden on your mental health.

[14:01] Take the hit: At the holidays, your kids should not be carted around from house to house, party to party, pleasing everyone who wants to be with them. You might have to take a few hits from angry relatives, but your kids will feel safer and happier if the holidays don’t involve this musical chairs of get-togethers.

[16:46] Let your child choose what you do: Research shows that five minutes a day of child-directed play can be incredibly healing, says Dr. Cohen. This means letting them choose the activity. It creates a feeling of bonding and intimacy and can be a good holiday memory. Remember what your child likes and how it might differ if you have more than one.

[19:54] Preparation is key: Our nervous system doesn’t like to be caught off guard. The more you prepare, the better, and we aren’t talking about finding the perfect gift. It’s about your emotional preparation, intention and connection, helping you be fully present with your kids.

[21:10] The kids and you are all right: It’s important to let your kids know that you will be okay when they are not around at the holidays. They worry too. Share with them some of your plans so that they know you will be okay even when alone (and even when you’re not).

Connect With ANR Law

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com.

You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw.

Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy! Subscribe in your preferred podcast app.

What we’ve been waiting for is finally here! We welcome you to Season 2 of Divorce, Healthy! Given the spirit of the holidays, and Christmas right around the corner, our host, Ashley-Nicole sincerely appreciates everyone that has come on this journey with her and the amazing connections made over the first season of the podcast.

On this episode of Divorce, Healthy! Ashley-Nicole welcomes you to embrace positivity with her and reveals how it is not only possible to move on after divorce, but to live a life of joy and purpose too. There is a new world when it comes to divorce, a world where people can solve their conflicts, feel peace, and feel comfort. The next phase of your life can be truly amazing if you let it be.

Ashley-Nicole shares a few insights on how children handle things versus how parents handle them. Remember, you are modeling behavior for your children, so be mindful of how you’re approaching conflict resolution. Even if you don’t have Christmas day this year, make the holidays wonderful for your children! (3:18) They will remember this experience and it will embed positive and joyful memories in them. Extreme negativity works the same way, so be mindful not to embed those negative memories. (4:43)

A few tips to make the holiday season into a positive and joyful experience for your family:

1.    Set a goal for how you want the holiday season to go. Are you drinking hot a chocolate in front of the fireplace? Are you ice skating? Do you go and get your Christmas tree together with your child? Keep that goal in mind and build a positive experience around it. (7:12)

2.    Maintain positivity. Make sure that whenever you’re in the environment of your kids that you’re remaining positive. You can bet that getting angry about the price of the Christmas tree can sour that experience for your children. Stay positive and reframe your thoughts this holiday season. (7:48)

3.    Be a model for your children. In every action, you are modeling behavior for your children, so be mindful of how you’re approaching conflict resolution.  (8:24)

4.    Be introspective. Think about yourself, think about the scars you have from your holidays or the wonderful memories that you have from your holidays. And either recreate those wonderful memories or think about how you can rewrite it into a better way. (9:35)

If this was your first episode of Divorce, Healthy, we encourage you to circle back to where it all started in Season One!

For more information on Ashley-Nicole Russell, and her book The Cure for Divorce Culture, head on over to anrlaw.com

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!

If you’re a child of divorce or if you’re a parent facing separation and divorce, then you’re intimately familiar with just how broken, expensive, exhausting, and toxic for our children the current culture of divorce in the United States is. Fortunately, alternatives exist, and experts are ready and willing to help you navigate divorce and find your best path forward.

On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of ANR Law, welcomes Wendy Hernandez, a family law attorney and host of Command the Courtroom on YouTube. They offer timely insight and guidance on moving forward with your life after divorce.

Wendy explores her transition into family law after beginning her career as a criminal defense attorney. Wendy found that a number of her criminal defense clients were also facing stressful domestic and family law issues. Her daughter was also a motivating factor in choosing to pivot to a career helping children and families. 

Wendy understands how devastating it can be to a child for their parent to lose sight of their interests in the whirlwind of divorce, focusing only on the parent’s conflict with the spouse. Quoting a friend, Wendy says, “[i] t’s not divorce that messes kids up, it’s the conflict between the parents.” (2:35)

Wendy also has practical advice on how to begin the divorce process with the right attitude, “I think that generally speaking people should get really clear on what it is that they want first of all in their life and then funnel it down to what do I want out of this divorce situation? Get clear on what your intentions are.” (13:48)

Highlights from the episode: 

  • The broken system (02:35)
  • What happens to the kids and how it affects their lives (04:00)
  • Definition of “healthy divorce” (08:01)
  • Modeling Healthy conflict (09:45)
  • Opportunities for a new beginning (11:18)
  • Collaborative divorce (11:51)

Watch Wendy Hernandez’ YouTube channel, Command the Courtroom, with live streams every Monday at 6:30 p.m. You can also visit her at CommandTheCourtroom.com.

Did you like this interview with Wendy Hernandez? Check out Conscious Coparenting and the Positive Life After Divorce With Jennifer Butler Coaching.

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!

Moving on after divorce is easier said than done. Loneliness, isolation, shame, and guilt are all commonplace after separation and divorce. Often, people going through separation feel like they won’t ever be able to get back on their feet and may even worry that they will never find love again. If these feelings sound familiar, this is the episode for you.

On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell welcomes Michelle Dempsey-Multack, Certified Divorce Specialists and host of the Moms Moving On Podcast, to discuss her system for overcoming the emotional complexities that accompany divorce and how women can come out stronger on the other side. Michelle reveals how she uses what she learned during her own divorce to help other women overcome their suffering and thrive.

Ashley-Nicole and Michelle open up about their respective divorces and how the process was ultimately a teaching experience. “I truly feel I had to be married to him for all of these unresolved demons and issues and traumas from my past to surface once and for all so that I could confront them. Because I had been ignoring them and living in denial for a really long time.” (8:15) Michelle also reveals how she discovered that she suffered from an anxious attachment style because of her parents’ divorce and how this affected her relationships and divorce.

Today, both Ashley-Nicole and Michelle are in loving and healthy relationships with partners that understand the struggle they’ve experienced. Michelle advises acknowledging to yourself that the situation will be challenging, “you know it’s going to be hard. It’s an unfortunate situation that’s happened, but it is also an opportunity to move forward in a way that works best for you, to put your best foot forward, to honor what you did wrong, and vow to not do it again. So if you’re willing to do the hard work, you’re going to get to a good place. Nothing good comes easy. Don’t expect it to be easy. And if you feel like it’s easier than you expect it, then good for you, then you’re in a good place.” (17:56)

 For more information on Michelle Dempsey-Multack’s podcast, visit MomsMovingOn.com. You can also follow her on Instagram and Facebook @themichelledempsey.

Like this interview with Michelle Dempsey? Check out The Myth is Busted, Divorce Doesn’t Have to be Horrible. With co-parents and co-authors of Our Happy Divorce, Ben Heldfond and Nikki DeBartolo.

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!

Divorce has long had a bad reputation. It is often incredibly stressful for the couple and leaves broken families in its path. Have you ever wondered, “does it really have to be this way?” Are there people out there who have successfully dissolved their marriages in a peaceful and healthy way? Are there children who don’t feel like their lives have been torn apart by their parents’ divorce? The answer is yes.

Enter Benjamin Heldfond and Nikki DeBartolo, authors of Our Happy Divorce, and today’s guests on this episode of Divorce, Healthy! When Ben and Nikki got divorced 13 years ago, there were far fewer resources available for collaborative processes and co-parenting. Luckily, they were both able to successfully navigate the divorce process and make decisions that have resonated positively in their lives and the lives of their children.

Benjamin stresses the importance of keeping your child’s best interest at heart. With painful memories of his own parents’ divorce, Ben knew he didn’t want to put his child through the same hardship. Conversely, Nikki’s parents remain married after 52 years, and she claims this was the driving force for making things work throughout the divorce process. (5:26)

At first, Ben did what most people do and hired an attorney. He soon realized his attorney may be more interested in a fight than in doing what was best for Ben and his family. Instead of pursuing a fight, Ben decided to step away from everything for a while. After taking time to weigh his options, he ultimately decided to team up with Nikki to tackle the problem together. “She was on my team and I was on her team. So, if you want to talk about collaborative, that’s the ideal behind it. But we truly were on each other’s team… as team captains.” (19:22)

Ben and Nikki admit that there is no easy way out of a divorce; there will always be fights, arguments, anger, etc. However, there are ample resources for people going through separation and divorce to consider. One resource the couple endorse is the App Fayr, developed by Micheal Daniels, who joins the conversation at 30:12. “Fayr is really just my sincere effort in trying to…communicate on the core issues, the things that need to be communicated on and try to clear up some of the misunderstandings and disagreement that oftentimes escalate into a costly court motion. And it has an emotional cost too.” (30:54)

As Ashley-Nicole mentions in prior episodes, the divorce industry is a broken one, and only some people benefit from it. Echoing her thoughts, Michael says “[Divorce] is such a broken system… everybody talks about the broken system. The truth is the system is working just fine for those who are financially benefiting from it.”(38:37) This is why “we’re all here to try to scream and say, you do not have to follow the norm just because it’s the norm,” says Ashley-Nicole. (45:52)

For more information on Benjamin and Nikki’s book Our Happy Divorce, visit ourhappydivorce.com. To download the Fayr App visit fayr.com/app

Like this interview with Benjamin Heldfond and Nikki DeBartolo? Check out How to Move Forward After Divorce, With Divorce Attorney & “Better Apart” Author, Gabrielle Hartley.

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!

If you’re going through a divorce or have recently been through one, you’ve probably experienced stressful emotions and have felt lonely in the process. Maybe you’ve seen your kids affected or are afraid they will be negatively impacted in the future. Divorce has a bad reputation in the United States, as we’re inundated on a daily basis with the spectacle of divorces gone wrong. Here, on Divorce, Healthy!, Ashley-Nicole Russell wants to turn that reputation on its head.

Welcome back to Divorce, Healthy! In this episode, our host is accompanied by Divorce Attorney and “Better Apart” author, Gabrielle Hartley. Gabrielle is a divorce mediator and lawyer who practices in New York and Massachusetts. In her book, Hartley provides readers with the five keys on how to move forward after divorce. 7:28

Both Gabrielle and Ashley-Nicole have had experiences with either being divorced or having divorced parents. They know first-hand the tremendous consequences divorce can have on you, your children, and your family. They stress the importance of being true to your own path during your divorce. It’s not necessary to follow in the footsteps of others, even best friends or family members. “If you’re getting divorced and your best friend had to hire private investigator, it doesn’t mean you need a private investigator (by the way, nobody needs a private investigator, but I mean for divorces!)” 14:08

They also address how negatively divorce can impact your children. It’s vital to allow your children, “especially the younger children…to have their childhoods.” 17:04 Gabrielle shares with us how her mother said to her, “Dad and I have grown up problems, and you’re a child and you need to worry about being a kid and we need to worry about our problems.” She points to that conversation as helping her navigate the emotional turmoil of her parents divorce. 17:21

Another key point they discuss is the internal struggle you may encounter during divorce. You need to overcome divorce; look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself who you are, where you are headed, how much are you planning on fighting unnecessarily? “You may get the windfall, but what is the win? Who are you?… Even if you win, sometimes you really lost… if you got that down and dirty, is that the you you want to look back on?” 29:13

For more information on Gabrielle Hartley and her Better Apart™ program, visit gabriellehartley.com. Purchase Gabrielle’s book Better Apart.

Like this interview with Gabrielle Hartley? We think you’ll appreciate A Millennial’s Perspective On Marriage & Divorce with TV Personality Aaron Deane.

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!

Life after divorce can be challenging. After grueling court proceedings and litigation, ex-partners—particularly women—may feel like it’s the end of life as they know it. There’s a lot to process and work through, with many left feeling hopeless and victimized years later. While this time is indeed one when you’re probably the most vulnerable, raw, and emotional, it can still be the biggest opportunity to finally discover who you truly are. And, all it takes it to change your perspective and make a choice.

In this episode of Divorce, Healthy! attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of ANR Law, is joined by love and transformation coach Jennifer Butler to discuss conscious uncoupling and how women can get back on their feet after divorce. Jennifer reveals what conscious uncoupling is and what the process entails, not just for women going through a divorce, but for those who are still stuck in their post-divorce environment. It’s all about taking yourself out of a victimhood mentality and looking at things from the self as the source.

Although difficult, the process also allows you to lean into grief and all the other emotions you’re feeling. Jennifer stresses, the way out of anything is to walk straight into it, and allow yourself to come out the other side free and at peace. They also encourage using this time to move forward and level up – even taking baby steps is better than nothing. Ask yourself, what are you turning this grief into? Don’t allow time to have its way with you, letting negativity to calcify inside your body.

Jennifer also emphasizes the importance of protecting your space, being mindful of the energy you’re allowing to enter. Consider finding or forming a supportive group as you go through the process and be open and available for the things in life that will serve you.

For Jennifer and Ashley-Nicole, how you do one thing is how you do everything – and this also applies to divorce. The way you’re handling this stage of your life can influence your kids in a major way. So, take a look at the choices you’re making and determine whether you’re growing, evolving, and expanding because of these. Show your children that you can still be the best version of yourself, even if you’re going through something as awful as divorce.

 

Links mentioned in the episode

Jennifer Butler’s Official Website

Jennifer Butler’s Instagram

Roadmap to Love Checklist

Breakup to Breakthrough Facebook group

 

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!

There are harrowing statistics that reflect the current culture of divorce in America and its negative effects on the population. For perspective, 87% of children involved in school shootings come from child custody battles. In a marriage where both spouses are products of divorce, their chances of the marriage ending in divorce are 200% greater than the general population. Divorce culture is toxic and chaotic and has profound consequences on the children involved—consequences that are likely to impact them for the rest of their lives.

In this episode of Divorce, Healthy! WNCT news anchor and TV personality Aaron Deane joins attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of ANR Law to discuss his experiences as a child of divorce, offering a millennial’s perspective. Aaron highlights the effect of a custody ruling that afforded one parent primary custody of the children. Such court designations drive secondary parents to internalize a diminished sense of family responsibility– leading to increased rates of absentee parents.

Aaron also shares how people of his generation view relationships and marriage, and how the divorce culture has heavily influenced these perspectives. Many choose to avoid marriage altogether, with weddings and children viewed not only as risky, but as massive financial and emotional investments. An unspoken pressure also exists to make marriages work because turning to the court system for dissolution and resolution is traumatic and expensive. After getting a front row seat to the catastrophic divorce culture of the last generation, who can blame them?

For Aaron and Ashley-Nicole, it’s important to have a complete understanding of yourself so you can make the right decision – even if that means ending your marriage. And, although the situation isn’t ideal, you can employ strategies to reduce stress and avoid conflict, leading to a better resolution for you and your family. Remember, ever if you’re a child of divorce, you have the power to break the cycle and avoid becoming a discouraging statistic.

 

Links mentioned in the episode

Aaron Deane’s Twitter account

Aaron Deane’s Instagram account

 

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!

The current culture of divorce in the United States paints litigation as the one and only avenue available to divorcing couples. While divorce litigation has a toxic and negative reputation, many lawyers continue to encourage the process. Instead of working together, the participants take adversarial roles from day one, similar to a boxing match, with each party seeking to dominate the other. Fortunately, there are alternatives. If you’re considering entering the divorce process, this is an episode you don’t want to miss.

In this episode of Divorce, Healthy! attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of ANR Law, leads a discussion with Ben McLawhorn of McLawhorn and Russell. Using examples of typical cases, Ashley-Nicole and Ben examine the divorce process through the lenses of the collaborative and litigation approaches.

In doing so, they highlight the disadvantages and unique complications presented by litigation, including negativity and toxicity. This negative and adversarial relationship creates a toxic environment that is likely to affect the children involved. Additionally, litigation is often drawn out and expensive, potentially plunging couples into debt and financial plight that may linger long after the ink of the divorce is dry. This doesn’t even account for the mental health impacts on the couple of an adversarial approach. With these concerns in mind, you must be thinking “there has to be a better way.” There is.

Ashley-Nicole and Ben encourage a collaborative approach involving alternative dispute resolution (ADR) or mediation. While the prevailing culture can make litigation feel like your only recourse, it’s possible to engage in an amicable process that respects the needs and concerns of each party. Working together to solve the problem is faster, easier, less expensive, and infinitely better for your mental health than brining your grievances before the court.

Ben also stresses the importance of finding the right attorney, one that has your best interests at heart and can be a strong advocate for you and with you. Your attorney should take the time to explain the process and ensure you have a thorough understanding before asking you to make decisions that will affect the rest of your life. While sometime a court battle is necessary, be wary of an attorney that’s looking for a fight.

Links mentioned in the episode

McLawhorn and Russell

Divorce Corp documentary

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!

For generations, the gender roles of fathers as breadwinners and mothers as caregivers shaped how society viewed family dynamics when a couple divorces. Outcomes of divorce from a sexist court system have forced women in particular into these patriarchal ‘ideals’ – the martyr mother or the stay-at-home mom. Not only has this caused women to press pause on their lives and careers, but it has forced them into financial dependency on the ex-spouse for child support and alimony. And, just like any discussion related to money, it can get messy, stressful, and chaotic. However, as times have changed, the research and science have evolved to counter these outdated beliefs.

In this episode of Divorce, Healthy! attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of ANR Law, talks to Emma Johnson, writer of Wealthy Single Mommy. During this in-depth discussion, Emma and Ashley-Nicole explore how to adopt and internalize a new narrative as you go navigate separation and divorce. Emma addresses equally shared parenting and gender equality, leading a revolution that empowers women to move forward in their lives in a better, more positive way. She wants women to understand that they have power to influence how the outcome of their divorce looks, including what time spent with the other parent looks like and the power to choose whether or not to receive child support and alimony.

Emma also encourages single mothers to reframe the role of money in their lives, moving away from the idea of institutionalized dependency. You can be financially independent and not have your financial worth attached to your ex-spouse. This also becomes a great opportunity to teach your children resilience and grit. Instead of spending precious time bickering over child support, put that energy into something that can improve your life.

You can be a mother and co-parent to your children and still live your best life, achieving any goals that you may have otherwise considered putting on hold. For Emma, the idea of moving past conflict and being better afterward isn’t just a possibility – it’s a reality that many women are choosing.

For more information, you can reach out to Emma Johnson on her website, Wealthy Single Mommy. And, for those Mommies that could use a boost, check out Emma’s Single Mom Stimulus Grant, where she gives away $500 a week to help struggling single moms.

Links mentioned in the episode

Wealthy Single Mommy by Emma Johnson

The Kickass Single Mom

Single Mom Stimulus Grant

The Cure for Divorce Culture

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!

Because of the negativity surrounding divorce, the term ‘Divorce Hotel’ seems to be an oxymoron. How can a process that involves a painful and life-changing event be associated with something that reflects the opposite? Can divorce be something that’s not riddled with chaos and conflict, and instead be one filled with collaboration and partnership?

In this episode of Divorce, Healthy! attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of ANR Law, speaks with Dorcy Pruter from the Conscious Co-Parenting Institute about conscious uncoupling and how it’s possible to move your family forward in a better way post-divorce. For Dorcy, it’s important to ask the questions of: where do you want to go and how are you going to get there? You have a choice, and you can actively choose not to be part of a broken system.

During divorce, turning inward and shifting your mindset and perspective about the situation has the power to significantly impact your outcome. Be conscious and learn how to imagine your emotions quickly, so that you can pull yourself out of the “spin zone.” Dorcy has spent years teaching these and other important skills to craft a stronger relationship with your children and co-parent.

Dorcy also explores the concept of the Divorce Hotel and how it’s becoming a popular choice for those wishing to avoid litigation. The proceedings are collaborative and can be accomplished on weekends, which may sound too good to be true, but it isn’t! The Divorce Hotel operates by removing the family from outside influence to a neutral location where the divorce mediation can be conducted peacefully. During the process the parties will examine the problems at hand and craft unique, personalized solutions.

At the end of the day, if you’re going through a divorce, know that the pain is will end. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it is possible to navigate the process with a positive outcome for everyone involved.

For more information about conscious uncoupling and collaborative divorce mediation, you can email Dorcy at consciouscoparentinginstitute.com and clientcare@coparentinginstitute.com, or call (888) 379-7279.

Links mentioned in the episode

Conscious Co-Parenting Institute

DivorceHotel

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!