Divorce, Healthy!

Welcome to Divorce, Healthy!

Divorce in the United States is something that is often viewed as negative. While a large majority of people associate it with ill feelings, chaos, and never-ending conflict, that doesn’t have to be the reality of divorce across America. It doesn’t have to be your reality, especially if you’re about to dive into this process.


Your Host.

Ashley-Nicole is dedicated to understanding her client’s needs and protecting their interests. As a child of divorce, she knows first hand the hardship and long-term effects of the traditional litigation model. She is committed to the Collaborative Divorce process outlined in the North Carolina General Statutes as a healthier alternative to litigation. Ashley-Nicole used the Collaborative Process in her own divorce, and she knows the success of the process first hand to preserve relationships and set the tone for a life of peace after divorce. She opened The Law Offices of Ashley-Nicole Russell, P.A. to help families navigate the emotional and legal aspects of separation and divorce in the Triangle and Eastern North Carolina.

One of the unfortunate and not uncommon outcomes of divorce involving children is parental alienation. Alienation is even more likely to occur in cases that involve litigation. Because parental alienation can appear to be the norm, divorcing couples may expect that whoever ‘loses’ in the child custody proceedings will become an absentee parent. In fact, about 22 million parents in the U.S. alone don’t remain in the lives of their children post-divorce. And it’s not just dads that are affected; mothers suffer from alienation as well, resulting in severed family ties and relationships.

In this episode of Divorce, Healthy! attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of ANR Law, talks with Ginger Gentile, director of the documentary film Erasing Family, about the trauma that children suffer when they don’t see a parent after a divorce. Ginger reveals what most parents aren’t aware of: that children are conflict-averse, and being forced through family court proceedings can be devastating for them. Even if you are forced into litigation, you are in control of how you choose to act and react, so you can still be an effective parent and role model to your child despite the circumstances. Kids are always watching, so it’s crucial that you model healthy and effective conflict resolution strategies. 

Ginger also discusses the importance of choosing your actions and framing divorce as a positive movement. Even if you end up feeling like the rejected parent, always show your children that you love them and put that relationship first. Children are often unwillingly thrust into these situations, so it’s essential to put in the effort to avoid conflict. Remember, you are not a victim in this situation, and you always have a say in what you want to do and the outcome you want to achieve.

Ginger recommends looking for a support group, a safe space to vent your emotions outside of the prying eyes of the public and your children. There are numerous resources and allies available to help you reach your goal– a healthy, loving relationship with your children despite your divorce.

Links mentioned in the episode

Erasing Family Website

Erasing Family on Vimeo

Erasing Family Facebook page

The Cure for Divorce Culture by Ashley-Nicole Russell

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!”

There has been no shortage of discussions, books, webinars, and seminars that cover ego and its role in our lives. For many, ego is the driving force behind the choices and decisions they make. And, when ego is in charge during crucial matters like divorce proceedings, not only does it add an additional layer of stress, but it can negatively impact your case.

In this episode of Divorce, Healthy! attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of ANR Law, speaks to international keynote speaker and business consultant Cy Wakeman. Cy dives deep into the concept of ego – what it is and how it works against us. The ego is the primitive part of our intelligence, which can create and fuel problems with low self-esteem. Ego is often responsible for s holding fictional beliefs about ourselves and the world. When you co-create and feed the narrative that the ego wants you to believe. These effects lead to conflict and stress not only in divorce, but in everyday life.

Cy offers valuable tips on how to stop letting ego take charge. She believes we should question our thinking, or as she says, “don’t believe everything you think.” Take a step back and consciously observe the thoughts your ego is driving you to believe and compare it to the reality of your situation. 

When you know how your mind works, it’s more difficult for ego to fool you. And when you see how the world works, you won’t waste time an in an alternate reality of your ego’s design. This allows you to make better, more informed choices that can be beneficial not only to you, but to your entire family.

Cy also discusses the importance of setting boundaries, especially in the face of divorce. Without boundaries, work, new childcare arrangements, and the myriad commitments of life can quickly overwhelm a divorcing parent. One practical piece of advice is to be direct and honest, but not overshare what’s going on in your personal life. 

One key takeaway that Cy stresses is that the ego narrative is not the reality, and believing and internalizing this is a choice you have to make every single day. You are not a victim of your divorce and you always have a choice in how when it comes to your own thoughts and behavior. 

You can connect with Cy Wakeman on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and her website www.realitybasedleadership.com.

Links mentioned in the episode

No Ego Podcast

No Ego Book

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!”

We are going through an extraordinary time in history, a crisis that has great impacts all over the world. The Coronavirus pandemic is affecting not only people, but communities, businesses and society as a whole. It’s a stressful an overwhelming time for everyone, but probably more so on families that are going through divorce, which is already a heavy situation to deal with.

In this episode of Divorce, Healthy! attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of ANR Law, speaks to Dr. Jeff Gardere, America’s Psychologist and co-producer of the Erasing Families documentary about the best way to co-parent during times of crisis. He stresses the need to pay attention to your children’s needs even more as things are uncertain and unstable.

For co-parents who are still harboring ill feelings as a result of the litigation system, now is the best time to set them aside and choose to show a united front to the kids. They look to you for stability, so it’s necessary that you model that to them at this time. Go above your pride and humble yourself for the sake of the kids. Now is not the time to shrink into your own head.

He also advises co-parents to start communicating and discussing family plans, what they need to do in order to keep the children’s emotional, physical and mental well-being safe and protected. If you feel like you haven’t been doing a good job at co-parenting, then you can make the change right now. Additionally, keep in mind that your kids are watching, so don’t invite animosity and keep the negative talk about your ex-spouse away.

Dr. Gardere also shares a silver lining amid what’s going on, and that it shows how society operates and that there is a collective effort to have empathy and take care of others. Many have been taking strides towards helping the community and being proactive. And what better way to influence your kids to do the same in the future than to start doing it with your co-parent today.

Learn more about Dr.Gardere at his website, www.drjeffgardere.com. You can also connect with him on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!

**For confidentiality purposes the names of the clients have been removed to protect the process.

Going through divorce is one of the toughest and most emotional processes anyone can go through in life. It can get messy and traumatic for everybody involved, no matter if it was a mutually-exclusive decision or one of the spouses asked for it. However, despite this being a difficult period, you can still end up with a healthy, happy and positive outcome after divorce.

No, it’s not a fairy tale. It is a possibility and has become a reality to some couples. And it all boils down to making the biggest decision prior to beginning the proceedings: what process will you choose?

In this episode of Divorce, Healthy! attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of ANR Law, talks to two of her Courageous Clients – one of whom chose the collaborative process for her divorce, and the other, seeing the effects of this process in their shared life today. They discuss the advantages of choosing this type of process instead of hiring a litigation attorney or firm to handle the divorce. While the latter seemed to be rooted in an element of revenge, collaboration makes you feel protected and supported, helping ease the heaviness and pain of divorce.

Her Courageous Clients also talk about how important it is to set aside your differences and pride and put your children first throughout the whole period. Choose the process above yourself and focus on the kids and how the divorce can impact the rest of their lives. If remarriage is on the horizon for either of the parties, it will be easier to sort out any child custody arrangements or step-parenting plans moving forward.

It shouldn’t be an option to show your kids that their parents are tearing each other apart. And that while they may not love each other as husband and wife, there is still the possibility of a loving, functioning relationship between the ex-partners. This is especially true in light of the current global situation we are facing in light of the COVID-19 epidemic and the Coronavirus disease. Imagine how much stress can be lifted off of divorced parents’ shoulders when they both can coordinate on what’s best for their kids in an emergency such as this.

Make the choice to be the best version of yourself despite being in conflict, so that you don’t pass the burden on to your kids. Think about any decisions you’ll be making and the repercussions it may have, and whether or not these will contribute to the outcome that you want.

While divorce is exhausting and emotional, it can still have an outcome that will be healthy and favorable to all who are involved – including any new people that may come in the picture afterwards.

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!

Divorce in the United States is something that is often viewed as negative. While a large majority of people associate it with ill feelings, chaos, and never-ending conflict, that doesn’t have to be the reality of divorce across America. It doesn’t have to be your reality, especially if you’re about to dive into this process.

In the inaugural episode of Divorce, Healthy!, attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of ANR Law, shares her research on how divorce is interpreted nationwide and the culture of conflict that is associated with it.

As a child of divorce, divorcee, and divorce attorney, she is on a mission to change the culture of divorce. Through sharing her story, she hopes more people will realize that it’s possible to go through the divorce process and become a better, happier, and healthier person.

She believes that you have absolute control in the way that you handle your divorce. If you make wiser decisions with understanding and mindfulness, you lessen the likeliness of putting  yourself in a chaotic and stressful situation. You may not have wanted the divorce in the first place, but you can choose how you react to this situation moving forward. You are the captain of the ship, and you can steer it in the path that you want it to be on.

Attorney Russell talks about the direct impact divorce has on aspects of life. She explains that how you choose to cope can affect everyone around you including your family, friends, and coworkers.

Her goal is to guide you through your divorce journey, coaching you to be more mindful and aware. While divorce is painful and difficult, it can still be a positive choice and process for everyone involved. The first step is to know what you want out of the proceedings in order to work through healthy and informed decision-making. 

Links mentioned in the episode:

·      The Cure for Divorce Culture

Divorce doesn’t just affect the parents and children involved. From Co-workers and employees to friends, neighbors, and spouses, the toxic fallout of divorce and years of mismanaged conflict can touch us all, all over North Carolina and America, changing the way we approach the world. Veteran Divorce, Child Custody, & Family Law Attorney Ashley-Nicole Russell believes in a better way forward. Drawing on her personal and professional experience, Ashley-Nicole is changing the conversation around divorce and conflict resolution as a whole. Providing thoughtful insight into this culture of conflict and the statistical effect on children and adults while offering collaborative strategies at home and in the workplace. Divorce, Healthy is your guide to mastering conflict resolution at home and in the workplace. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy.

To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com. You can also find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn and YouTube.

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The insights and views presented in “Divorce, Healthy!” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. The information presented is not a substitute for consulting with an attorney, nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind.